Wednesday, September 16, 2009

smacked in the face

I read Stuff Christians Like. You should too.

Today's entry was all about forgiveness. And Kanye West. And how I expect and receive it for myself easily with no problem, but I am super quick to withhold it from people I don't deem worthy. Maybe they've done too much. Or gone too far.

But mostly.
They just got found out.
And I'm still hiding.

Years ago my uncle left his wife for her best friend. And it destroyed me. I could NOT understand. Didn't understand how he could cheat. Didn't understand what the best friend was thinking. It was horrible. My aunt and I were very close, so it was even harder. I had a horrible time even talking to my uncle and his new wife. I could barely think about looking them in the face, much less forgiving them.

Then it happened. I found myself caught up in a similar situation- where I was the bad guy. No, he wasn't married. No, he didn't leave her for me. But, I got so caught up in my sin that I wasn't thinking about anyone but myself. And it was at that point that I realized that I was no different from my uncle and his new wife. God is so gracious. And luckily, so are my family and friends.

God, teach me to forgive like you do. To love unconditionally like you do. Because you love me. And I am so undeserving. And so unworthy.

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