doubt

Sometimes I worry that I'm a bad judge of character. Because I've had people in my life who were the MOST important people in my life at one time or another- and then I stood by while they changed into someone I didn't even know. Is that a reflection on me? Am I too trusting? I know it's a good thing to trust, but sometimes I worry that I've taken it too far. And just believe people. It's just strange. And I don't know if that's me. Or if it's just the way life is.
Someone told me that I tend to look for people to "rescue"-- which I can accept. But, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about people who were like me. But then weren't. This has happened in different degrees of change. But still.

I don't know if I want you to answer this question....

just a cool moment.

great day.
listening to the Across The Universe soundtrack.
and I had a really cool moment.
Hey Jude was playing.
and it got the end of the song where it's na-na-na-ing.
and all of a sudden, there's like most of my class singing along really softly.
it was like a movie.
i liked it.

a little unexpected

I led worship at a retreat in March- and our speaker was Denise Hildreth. I met her about a year ago at a book club night at North Metro. We'd read Flies on the Butter- which I loved. I've read all of her books- she's one of my favorite authors. SO, at this book club deal, I got the chance to sit next to her during dinner. She was so nice- and just a joy to talk to- and I totally felt like we were friends by the end of the dinner time! I mean, we weren't, but I can dream, right?

At the retreat, we got a chance to chat a little- and I just always enjoyed hanging out with her.

Then.
She emailed me and asked me if I'd be willing to write for her blog. I don't really consider myself a writer, but I've had some people speaking that into my life lately, so we'll see. Anyway- she asked me to write. So I did. And it's up today. It's kinda weird. Not that I'm famous or anything. But that something I wrote is being read by people that read Denise Hildreth. You know what I mean?

Anyway. You can check it out. The focus is on seeing God in the details. Good stuff.
You can read it here.

I love Andy Merrick.

if you're nervous, trust me on these two things:
1. I would not say no.
2. I only know about 2 girls who would- if you want to make sure you're not talking to them, let me know and I'll fill you in

couple of things on my mind

Earthquake in Sichuan was a year ago. At the time, two of my best friends (Rachel and Maranda) were living in that area of China. It was terrifying. Because I had a first hand connection to what was happening in the area, I remember it differently than your average American.
Things are not ok.
Things are not back to normal.

Rachel's blog today said:

On May 12, 2008...

87,000 people lost their lives.
1.5 million homes were destroyed.

On May 12, 2009...as we remember,

200,000 people still remain jobless.
20,000 people still remain missing, buried beneath rubble.

Also- ran across this website on James Fallows at The Atlantic. Check it out.
Don't forget.

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I LOVED Caedmon's Call in college. I mean, I still love them now, but when I was in college- they were my favorite Christian band. I played 40 Acres until it was just about dead. I saw them in concert about 5 or 6 times- great songs, great music. Loved them. One of the guys in the band- Derek Webb- was always a little more "edgy" in his way of thinking and just the way he came across. Nothing super scandalous, but he was just not your typical "seemingly perfect" Christian musician. He's been doing solo stuff for a few years- it's pretty good. I don't listen to it like I listened to Caedmon's, but it's still some quality stuff.
I was reading on Bryan Allain's blog- he writes for Prayers For Blowouts too- about Derek Webb's newest album called Stokholm Syndrome. SO MUCH DRAMA surrounding it! It's not very "Derek Webb-y" to be all drama just for the sake of publicity. So, I don't know. But, I do know that I want to listen to the album.....

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Well, these are just adorable.

Read about them at Kelly's Korner.
I want them so badly!! Not for me. But for all of my baby-producing friends!

remembering who I belong to.

For my whole life, my mom has always told me to "Remember who I belong to". She would say it when I was going out of town for a weekend or just going to hang out with my friends. Some moms say things like "Have fun and be careful" or "Be safe"-- but not my mom- she's always had a fun way of saying things.

Remember who I belong to.

For the last few days, I've been thinking about that. Remembering who I belong to.

My mom is a lot of things. She's made me who I am. People who know us both always talk about how much we are alike. I'm a pretty good mix of both of my parents, but I am my mother's daughter.

When I remember who I belong to, I remember these things:

1. Cereal is an acceptable dinner. Still hungry? Two bowls!
2. Put sunscreen on before you go out to the beach. So you don't miss random spots or get sand stuck to your ENTIRE body.
3. Be nice. Even when you don't want to. Especially to people you don't like. It'll drive them crazy.
   
4. Life friends change your life- whether they're always in your life or not.
   
5. Your siblings are your best friends. If they're not, they will be.
   
6. Your relationship with God should grow. If it's not, something's up with you.
7. You can wear expensive things without spending a lot of money.
8. A clean, pretty house makes you feel better about your life.
9. You can love (and like) your in-laws.
   
10. You can do anything if you follow the directions.
11. Sometimes it's ok to turn the music off.
12. Being the good kid isn't all that bad.
13. Marrying the "bad boy" can work out- as long as his heart is good.
14. If you act authoritative, you will have authority.
15. Coloring your hair makes you look younger.
16. Sometimes it feels good to just go home.
17. You can conquer your fears if you face them.
18. Sacrificing for the ones you love is rarely a sacrifice.
    
19. Slick underwear makes your dresses and pants look better. Even if they are ridiculous looking.
20. Serving people makes you feel complete.

I love my mom. She's amazing.
I remember who I belong to.
Happy Mother's Day!!

more to come. I promise. it's just not done.

Favorite

Color: pink. duh.

Smell: the beach. sunscreen.

Food: chips and salsa

Snack: uh. chips and salsa.

Alcoholic Drink: Miller Light... sometimes fruity nonsense, but usually just beer

Non-Alcoholic Drink: Diet Coke. Or Cheerwine.

City: in the world-- Budapest, Hungary..... in America--NYC

Country: China

Book: The Outsiders, The Great Gatsby

Poem: Don't really like poems... but I do like The Homework Machine by Shel Silverstein, Nothing Gold Can Stay by Robert Frost, and Tell all the Truth but tell it slant by Emily Dickinson

Quote: I love quotes, so this is actually pretty tough....

Film: Remember the Titans, The Sandlot, Grease 2, The Italian Job

Television Program: One Tree Hill, Biggest Loser, Bones

Song: All time- The Piano Man by Billy Joel, Jessica by The Allman Brothers, On the Dock of the Bay by Otis Redding. Recently- Do not hook up by Kelly Clarkson, Blame it by Jamie Foxx, People are Crazy by Billy Currington

Album: Live at Fillmore East by The Allman Brothers, Carencro by Marc Broussard, Brother Bring the Son by Dave Barnes

Boy's Name: Blake, Grant, Smith (yes, as a first name), Brody, Eli, Jake, Ryne,

Girl's Name: Emmalee Anne, KatyBeth, Mary Tanner (could I BE more southern with all of my double names!?)

Weather: summer. hot. with a breeze.

Hobby: being crafty, reading, laying out

Chore:uh. chore? can you have a favorite chore? um. no. sorry. that's why it's a CHORE. dumb.

Dear Universe

If at all possible, I would like to trade lives with Stephanie Zinone. You know, from Grease 2?
Thank you,
Cami Smith


I want a whole lot more than the boy next door...
I want hell on wheels.

all we are saying....

love Carolyn Forsman!
love this necklace!
ordered it for my hippie sister.
hope she doesn't read this.
she SHOULD be studying for her finals.
hopefully, that's the case!

if you want, you can match her.
she'll HATE that you match her, but you can.
just so you know.

Peace.

good news!

I was just sad all day yesterday, so I asked people for some good news!
Sometimes when I'm really bummed- or talking to a friend who's really bummed, I'll make myself (or them) list things that are good.

Here are some things that are good in my life:
1. My sister comes home this week. Could not BE any more excited.
2. Going to the beach soon!!! With Rachrea!!!!
3. Only 13 more days of school! Hooray!
4. My small group continues to bless me. I love them more every day.
5. My mom is awesome-er than your mom. Just sayin.
6. Had some really stellar hang out time with my sister-in-law lately. Truly dominant.
7. La Parilla is back open.
8. My friends love me. And they tell me all the time.
9. Heather found a car! JCLS got a new job!
10. Chick-fil-A has a new spicy chicken sandwich. It's not in Georgia yet, but I am cool enough to know people in the loop (ie. Amy)- so, I know it's gonna come here eventually. And I love spicy chicken.


What's good?

ugh.

I found out this morning that my friend and his wife lost their baby this weekend. They went in to the hospital to be induced, and the doctor found no heart beat. She still had to deliver. He still has a name. The funeral is tomorrow. I just keep thinking about the fact that they have to go home to a nursery. I don't know why that sticks out in my head.

I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I just want to cry.


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Update.
His name was William Watson Boone. Funeral was this morning. I didn't get to go, but my friend did. He said it was heart wrenching.
Please pray.
You can check out the obit here. Sad sad times.